WRITTEN TRANSCRIPTION OF THE PODCAST:

Hello and welcome to my podcast My Life and Other Funny Stories. My name is Dagmar Tomášková, I am an English tutor and coach and I created this podcast for English students who want to get better in their oral comprehension. As always you can find the transcription of this episode, comprehension quiz, and vocabulary list in the notes of the podcast.

Today, we will laugh at my expense a little bit. Laughing at someone’s expense means that you make fun of someone. And it will give me an opportunity to tell you what it is like to be a small person in this world.

Right now, I am 152 cm tall. Or maybe 152 cm small. And I have always been that way. When I was a child, I used to be a little smaller than everyone around me but I was growing a bit. But one beautiful day, I just stopped and everyone around me just continued…?

How is this fair?

When I visit my parents, I still see the faded pencil lines on the wall that stayed there from the time I was measuring myself as a ten-year-old, eleven-year-old, twelve-year-old … hoping I grew a little. After a certain age, I never did.

A faded pencil line is a line that is slowly disappearing and you cannot see it as clearly as you once could.

Nevertheless, with age, you just get used to the fact that you are the smallest person in every group, and also people get used to the fact that you are the smallest person in the group and they finally stop making fun of you.

Still, here and there you find people that have the absolute necessity to point out how small I am. I love it. Truly. It is not like I heard every joke about being small in this whole goddamn universe maybe 10 times each. I love the attempt to be original though.

With my time running out in this world, you embrace it as a part of your personality and it is just part of you that you accepted and no longer wish to be taller. Still, there are some moments where it sucks that you are not taller, let me tell you.

When I was getting my driving license, the instructor’s car was older and you couldn’t adjust the seat as you can with newer cars. I loved, how he always got out of the car, went to the trunk and pulled out this old, ugly pillow that I had to sit on the whole drive so that I could see. Thank god, I have more than 150 cm since back then you could get a driver’s license only if you were above this number-

I think I dodged a bullet with these two centimeters above 150. Dodge a bullet means to barely avoid a dangerous, harmful, or just bad situation. For example, you are not allowed to ride some big rollercoasters if you are under 150 cm. It would be such a shame if I couldn’t do that. I mean, I hate rollercoasters and I never ride them anyway, but WHAT IF I wanted to? The fact that I wouldn’t even have the chance to do it, would crush my world.

Other places where you would be delighted to see me try to carry out my happy life are concerts and supermarkets.

When I go to concerts, if I am not in the first row (first row is the first line), it is done. I can’t see anything. Sometimes some of my friends or my boyfriend have mercy on me and take me on their shoulders and then I can actually even see something but you now, you can’t really spend two hours on someone’s shoulders. It would not be the most pleasant experience either for the one who carries me or for me. Also, concerts give me the biggest claustrophobic feelings ever.

It is like standing in a forest surrounded by tall trees that are hunching over you and you feel like they will eventually close off the airflow so you feel like you cannot breathe and then it slowly moves to an anxiety attack. Literally (not literally), I am drowning in people. That is why I hate crowds (Crowds are big groups of people).

In supermarkets, it isn’t so anxiety-producing, but still, it is annoying. Imagine not being able to reach things on higher shelves or when they are pushed far back.

I am standing there, jumping like a little rabbit, trying to catch the last can of sugar-free energy drink that is pushed far back into the shelf, and while I am jumping and trying to reach, I am rubbing against the shelf which is creating static electricity and then I get the biggest electric shock…it is a whole situation. And then I am still unsuccessful so with my hair standing, because of the electricity, I have to find someone in the store, who is taller than me, usually a worker, and like a small child ask them to please reach into the shelf and hand me my sugar-free energy drink.

Oh how I love these moments.

By the way, for the ones who might be a little confused with some words:

a can is a metal container in which food and drink is sold – so you can have a can of beer.

to rub against something is to touch something with your body repeatedly

and to hand someone something is to pass someone or give someone something

If you had a hard time understanding because of these words go and listen to it again.

Anyway, those are two of many situations in my daily life where I wish I was a little taller but as I said, I accepted it and this is just the way it is.

Also, it is funny now, because I meet so many people online and get to see them in person only later, so I can always see the surprise on their faces when they see me being so tiny. And that is even after I mentally prepared them for the fact that I could hide behind a grain of rice (= office reference).

Of course, there are some advantages of being small as well such as (hopefully) looking younger when I am no longer young, not having to hunch under every tree or passage, having better balance and fitting into small spaces…but that is about it. Yes, I found four advantages. The list of disadvantages could go on and on. But I also know that very tall people have a lot of disadvantages too. I am not trying to say that being small is the worst thing in the world. I am just trying to share my experience and let you have a small insight into my life. So don’t take it as a way of me saying that being tall is always better.

However, in general, people wear heels to look taller. People want big desks and big offices to seem powerful and they like looking at you from above. People think bigger is better. Sometimes I feel like they think being taller than you makes them superior. But only some of them. And that is life.

And that brings us to the end of the episode. This is a little shorter one but I feel like it suits the topic (get it?).

If you want help with your English, write me a message or follow me on Instagram, where I post a lot of useful information such as how to write a good formal email, vocabulary for informal English, tips for traveling and learning languages and there is a lot more to come. So if you are interested, definitely follow me on my account dagmar_tomaskova – I will also link it to the notes.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode and don’t forget that you can find the transcription, vocabulary list, and comprehension quiz in the notes. Please give it a five-star rating if you liked it and…I hope this episode helps at least one person.

I will see you next time, bye-bye.